Sex Prep For Your Wedding Night and Every Night

A couple of things come to mind when a woman thinks about her wedding: her wedding dress, whether her guests will enjoy themselves at the wedding, and how the wedding night is going to go. The latter was particularly on my mind five years ago.

There are so many things I wish I knew before I had sex for the first time with my husband. We’d done premarital counseling and gotten some great tips. Our pastors were real and described things in great detail so we understood what to expect. However, I still feel like things could have gone a little more smoothly at the start of our sex life, especially on my end. Looking back, I realize I was equipped emotionally, spiritually, and mentally to have sex once the celebration of our wedding came to a close that beautiful day in July. But physically? Medically speaking? Not so much.

Virginity gone, sex problems not welcome

Who knew that as you’re getting your final fitting for your wedding dress you should also be thinking about how you’ll prevent UTIs, which lubricant decreases your risk for a yeast infection, how to be fresh down below without causing skin irritation, and more? I sure didn’t!

I’m going to be honest with you, sis. I got quite a few infections at the start – mainly yeast and pseudofolliculitis barbae. Not fun. As I said before, I knew the basics about sex but not about keeping myself healthy physically. I don’t want that to be you, if this is your first time having sex. And even it’s not your first time, you can still learn how to help keep yourself healthy.

Below are some easy things a woman can do to prevent some health problems related to sex and prepping for sex. Whether you’re like me and been having sex with your hubby for years, or going to have sex for the first time, hopefully these tips are helpful. And just in case you want a summary of these tips, make sure you get my FREE Sex Prep Checklist for your convenience.

I dedicate this article to a dear friend of mine about to get married and waiting to have sex on her wedding night with her soon-to-be husband!

Don’t shave too close

If you have coarse, curly, thick hair on your head, the hair down below and under your arms is probably coarser, curlier, and thicker. A common condition that impacts ladies with this hair type is pseudofolliculitis barbae – ingrown hairs. They’re painful. They’re annoying. And they occur because we shave too close to the skin. Shaving too close means cutting the hair so that it’s right below the skin. This is a problem because when the hair starts to grow, it can get trapped underneath the skin and cause those pesky bumps that are irritable, and can become painful and infected. This is not something you want to deal with when you’re getting all close and personal, especially on the night of your wedding.

But what do you do if you want to be a little less hairy?

You could try using over-the-counter chemical hair removers; there is some evidence that this won’t cause the same issue that a razor blade does (although this depends on how long you keep the chemical on, your hair type, etc.)². You could also attempt shaving “with the grain” – the blade goes in the same direction your hair grows. My favourite trick – use scissors or a 3-blade razor (instead of a 5-blade razor) to get a short cut instead of a close cut; just make sure you’re careful not to cut yourself and wash those scissors real good afterwards.

Drink lots of fluids

Urinary tract infections (UTIs) happen for all sorts of reasons. Sex is a risk factor. Unfortunate, yes, but there are things we can do to prevent this infection. One of those things is to increase your fluid intake – specifically water. Wedding dresses, although beautiful, are usually an impractical item of clothing that make going to the bathroom a struggle. That reason, amongst others, makes it no surprise that brides don’t drink a lot of water on their wedding day.

Well, drink up, girl!

Not getting married? Keep drinking that H₂O (or start if you haven’t been).

Water may help prevent a UTI and it helps with the symptoms of a UTI. Cranberry juice, capsules, or tablets may also help prevent and relieve some symptoms. Overall, the evidence is weak but definitely worth a try for prevention and before starting antibiotics for treatment¹.

Time your pee

Drinking all that water is probably going to make you want to pee more often that you’re used to. When it comes to vaginal intercourse, be strategic about when you go to the bathroom. Urinating after sex may help prevent a UTI. The thinking is that this helps prevent bacteria from travelling up the urethra into the bladder¹. And whenever you go to the bathroom, always wipe from front to back. Timing when you go pee in relation to sex may work for you, so I say try this tip. Urinating after sex is considered a safe, low-risk medical option (ie. no real harm in doing it).

Use lubrication (without certain ingredients)

Sis, lubrication is your friend. Lubrication occurs naturally when the foreplay is good. It’s that sensation of feeling moist in your vagina. It makes penile insertion much more comfortable. Sometimes, you may need a little extra lube for vaginal intercourse to feel comfortable. But before you head out to buy some lubricant, know which ingredients to go for and which to avoid³.

First of all, don’t use Vaseline, hand or body lotions, or oils (olive oil, oils used for massage). These will break down the condom (if you use one, and if you are using one you want that condom to work). To prevent yeast infections, avoid lubricants with glycerin. Glycerin becomes sugar and feeds yeast. You don’t want that either. Water-based lubricants are great for most-things sex related, especially sex toys. Silicone-based lubricants are great if you’re prone to yeast infections and UTIs, and if your skin is on the sensitive side. But they’re not so great with other products made of silicone.

Clean your mouth, not your vagina

Have you been to the dentist recently? Do you know what germs you may be harbouring in your mouth? For those of you who like oral sex and enjoy blessing someone with the gift of your mouth, ensure your mouth is healthy and not full of harmful bacteria from tooth and gum infections or yeast. Also, if you have a cold sore (whether it’s just starting to tingle or on its way out), I strongly suggest keeping your mouth out of duty until your lips are completely healed. The last thing you want to do spread that virus to your lover’s nether-region – that wouldn’t be nice.

And what about your vagina? Tempted to do a quick wash out because you’re concerned about the smell? Well, please don’t. All those feminine products for “washing” your vagina are unnecessary. Your vagina is like a self-cleaning oven. It has beautiful natural organisms on the inside that keep the organ’s pH level just right and prevent other harmful organisms from thriving. If you wash your vagina, you change its environment, making you more prone to a whole host of infections. Washing your vagina also dries it out – you’ll need extra lubricant for sure. Nothing needs to go in there to make you smell nicer or seem cleaner. Let your lady part do its job.

Get tested

There is no shame in getting tested for a sexually transmitted infection (STI). I got tested because I used to believe you could get an STI from a toilet seat! Unfortunately, people are not that honest and you can’t know you and your partner don’t have an STI without getting tested, if that’s something you’re concerned about. It’s also hard to find someone who has waited until marriage to have sex (although still possible). Unless you and your partner are virgins, no amount of innocent looking white lingerie will prevent an STI.

What about condoms? They are your best bet but they’re not 100% perfect.

If there is any bit of uncertainty, if you’re prone to UTIs, if you want to have kids in the future (because certain untreated STIs can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease which is a risk for infertility), etc. get tested.

Prevent an oopsy-baby

If you’re ready to have children, totally disregard this tip. However, if you’re not ready to be pregnant but would like children down the road, know your options. Want to have a baby within 1-3 years, consider short-term contraception options. These include condoms (85% effective with typical use), oral contraceptive pills (92% effective with typical use), vaginal ring (94% effective with typical use), the patch or Depo provera (92-94% effective with typical use). Think you’ll be ready in over three years from now, consider long-term contraception options. These include the copper intrauterine device (IUD), which is almost 100% effective, and hormonal IUDs (ex. Mirena, Kylena, copper) that are almost 100% effective with typical use. It’s important to figure this out before having sex and then talk to your doctor to see which one will work for you. You can learn about your options by reading my posts about contraception (Part 1 & Part 2).

Menopausal?

When a women is transitioning to or in menopause, sex doesn’t have to be put on hold but some things may have to change. For my ladies in this stage of life (either naturally or due to medications or surgery), your vagina is likely dry, which might make sex uncomfortable. Lubrication will help but vaginal estrogren replacement is even better. It puts back estrogen in your vaginal tissue, which helps better lubricate down below. Vaginal estrogen replacement also helps prevent UTIs. Talk to your doctor about this option, especially if you’re only experiencing vaginal symptoms of menopause.

Which of these tips do you wish you knew about? Let me know in the comment section below.

Make sure you snatch up my FREE Healthy Sex Prep Checklist for your future sexy time. 

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